There You'll Be
by MissFantabulous
Summary: "Olivia, there's no way in hell I'm letting you go. Look at me. Liv, look at me." She opened her eyes a bit, still wincing. "You're going to make it. You're going to be okay." EO.
1. Chapter 1: Officer Down

**Disclaimer:** If Olivia's not starting a party in Elliot's pants, I don't own SVU.**  
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**Chapter 1: Officer Down  
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Three shots fired, one detective on the ground.

Olivia fell face first on the grimy warehouse floor. She knew she was hit. There was no way the pain she felt was only because of her fall; the pain was too excruciating.

She closed her eyes and attempted to push herself up, but failed and plopped right back on the ground, emitting a groan.

"Liv!" She heard in the distance. She closed her eyes, fighting her hardest not to give in to the pain.

"Liv, hang in there," Who's voice was that? She felt some sort of fabric being pressed firmly, yet with a caring touch on her back. _Elliot._ She realized. Of course, who else would it have been? She heard him call for a bus and she mouthed his badge number, as he announced it to the dispatcher, inwardly smiling.

"Hey, Liv, hang on, okay? EMS is on its way. Just stay with me."

"El?" Olivia opened her eyes.

"I'm right here, Liv, just hang on."

"It hurts, El." Elliot's heart broke hearing her admit she was in pain. Anyone who knew Olivia knew that she was too strong and had too much pride to admit she was in pain unless she was seriously hurt.

"I know it does. Just, just hang on." He pleaded. Silently, he was praying harder than he ever had in his life. _Please God, she doesn't deserve this. Don't do this to her. Keep her here. I know she's a great person and you want her up there with you, but right now you can't have her. I need her more than I could have ever imagined. Don't let her die. Please, God, if you want to take anyone take me, not her. She's too good for this. _

A single tear escaped from Elliot's eye and slid down his face.

"Elliot," Her eyelids were slowly drooping.

"Hey, hey, stay with me. I can hear the ambulance already." He began to press his jacket more firmly on her back.

"El, let me go."

Elliot's brow furrowed. "What? No. I'm not letting you go, Olivia." She closed her eyes.

"I-I've lost, lost too much blood. There's no chance that I'll-" Elliot interrupted before she continued.

"Olivia, there's no way in hell I'm letting you go. Look at me. Liv, look at me." She opened her eyes a bit, still wincing. "You're going to make it. You're going to be okay."

Elliot wasn't sure if he was trying to convince Olivia or himself. He was so damn afraid for her. In the back of his mind, he scolded himself for not seeing the guy earlier.

The man who shot Olivia, Lloyd Thompson, was one of two perps that were the founders of some cult that raped, tortured, and killed young boys as a sacrifice, then simply dumped them in alleys. Olivia had been aiming her gun at the other perp, Roland Stiles, when Lloyd had shot her three times in the back. Elliot, who had been on the opposite side of the warehouse, had run faster than his legs had ever carried him to get to where he heard the gunshots.

When EMT finally arrived after what seemed like an eternity to both Elliot and Olivia, they loaded Olivia into the truck and Elliot sat beside her, holding her hand and praying.

When they got to the hospital, he was met by Cragen, Munch, and Fin. Elliot had tried to follow Olivia, but was held back by his three co-workers. Not wanting to just sit around, Elliot walked to the nearest bathroom, leaving behind three concerned men.

He leaned against the sink, staring down at his hands covered in Olivia's blood. He closed his eyes, refusing to let himself cry. _She needs you to be strong, Elliot. _Opening his eyes again, he turned on the faucet, quickly washed off Olivia's blood from his hands, splashed some water on his face, and left the bathroom.

When Elliot returned to the waiting room, he saw that Casey had just arrived and was bawling into Munch's shoulder. Elliot grinded his teeth together to keep from crying himself. He hated himself for not sticking with Olivia. She was a damn good cop, but she always ended up in life-threatening situations.

He shook his head and took a seat across from Munch and Casey, next to Fin. Putting yourself in life-threatening situations on a daily basis was the first rule of being a cop. How the hell could he be blaming Olivia for this? This was his fault. He knew that. Had he not been on the other side of the warehouse, he could've shot the bastard before he got to Olivia.

Putting his head in his hands, Elliot now realized that not only had he gotten his partner shot, he had let the perps escape. He pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes, still trying to prevent the waterfall of tears he knew was coming.

Cragen rubbed his forehead, trying to rid himself of the fear he felt. He was worried about Elliot. He knew that if Olivia did die, God forbid, Elliot wouldn't handle that well. He was barely able to handle this and Olivia was still alive. He looked over at him and noticed how a light hue of crimson was still visible on Elliot's hands.

Cragen knew that Elliot was beating himself up about Olivia getting hurt even though it was no one's fault but the perps's. He scanned his eyes over the other four people that he knew were incredibly worried for Olivia. Fin was slouching with his head leaning against the wall and Munch had one arm wrapped around Casey, who had stopped bawling, but was still sobbing every now and then into Munch's shoulder.

They were more than just a squad, they were a family.

Cragen sighed and leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes. His prayer was four simple words. _Don't let her die._

There were a select few of people that John Munch truly cared for. Olivia was definitely toward the top of that list. John knew that if he could find a woman with even half the qualities as Olivia, he'd be set for life. Olivia was just an amazing person and John admired her strength and ability to put up with him; not many women could.

John felt like screaming. The atmosphere between the five of them was filled with too much despair. Never had it been this quiet. Elliot brooding over Olivia wasn't making John's need to scream any better and neither was Casey softly crying into his shoulder.

"She's a fighter, Case, she'll be okay." He whispered to her. But honestly, he had no clue if Olivia would be okay. He could only hope.

Fin exhaled, simply wishing that this whole ordeal was over. He wondered what would've happened had Olivia not gotten injured. Elliot and Olivia would've arrested the bastards, interrogated them, got their confession, and the squad would've gone out for drinks at O'Malley's.

Fin turned his head slightly to his left and looked at Elliot. The man was a wreck. He felt for him, though. He knew what it was like to have someone you care for deeply get hurt. But this was a lot different; Elliot was in love with Olivia. Of course, Elliot had never admitted it, but it was pretty damn clear. Fin could see it, he knew Munch could see it, Casey had to see it seeing as she spent most of her free time with Olivia, and he was pretty sure that Cragen could see it.

Casey sniffled and lifted her head from John's shoulder. She leant forward, resting her face in her hands. She couldn't believe this was happening. Her best friend, the one person who she could trust with anything, was critically injured. Casey bit her lip, trying to stop herself from crying again and wiped her eyes. _God, help Olivia get better and help Elliot stay strong. He's going to break soon. Amen._

The hospital waiting room was littered with the five people that cared the most about Olivia, all doing the same thing; praying for her health.


	2. Chapter 2: Loss of Appetite

**A/N:** This chapter's for **Color Esperanza**, **LivNel4ever**, **EnglishJumperChick13**, **Hyades**, **SVUfan1006**, **Kates1789**, **Hkitty9013**, **onetreefan** (who gets a special SVU cookie for helping me realize that I forgot to mention that the title of this story is based on the Faith Hill song "There You'll Be), **obsessedwithstabler**, and **Evergreen.C **for the reviews and to my friend Emilee who let me borrow her last name. Thanks, guys. :)

**Disclaimer:** Eeny meeny miney mo, if Olivia's not sexing up Elliot, I don't own the show. ;)**  
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**Chapter 2: Loss of Appetite **

Three hours had passed since Olivia had been taken into surgery. Cragen had ordered Munch and Fin to go see if they could find any leads on Lloyd Thomas and Jacob Stiles and Casey had left silently, her eyes stained from crying, sending a short nod in Elliot's direction. Only Cragen and Elliot remained.

Elliot leaned back in his chair, eyes closed, licking his chapped lips, reciting the Hail Mary for the umpteenth time in his head. "Elliot, go home." He looked up to find Cragen worriedly staring at him.

"What?" He asked, his voice hoarse from lack of use.

"There's no use in staying here and beating yourself up for this. It's not your fault. Just, just go home, Elliot." Silence lingered between the two men for a while before Elliot responded.

"I need to be here when she wakes up, Cap." Elliot stated staring directly into Cragen's eyes.

Cragen sighed and nodded slightly, sending up another prayer for Olivia to get better and for Elliot to stop beating himself up.

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"You got anything?" Munch asked as he tossed a fortune cookie at Fin and placed two cartons of Chinese food on his desk. 

Fin sighed heavily as he sat down and snatched one of the cartons from John's desk. "Another boy was found in an alley today."

"Same M.O. as our guys?" John asked, sitting down himself.

Fin nodded. The two men looked at each other, then looked over at Olivia's desk and remembered that these two sons of bitches had hurt her.

"Suddenly I lost my appetite." Munch quipped, throwing down his chopsticks.

"Me too. Let's go see what CSU found." Fin said as he and Munch began to leave, but not before stealing another glance at Olivia's desk, silently wishing that this whole ordeal was over.

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"Captain Cragen?" Cragen and Elliot both stood, facing a tall doctor clad in dark blue scrubs. 

"How is she?" Cragen asked.

"The bullets were lodged in her spine, but we managed to remove them." The doctor informed them.

"Is she going to be alright?" Cragen asked.

"Well we don't know that just yet. As of now she's stable, but we need to keep her here for the next few days to see if any damage was done."

"Can we see her?" Elliot asked, close to tears after hearing she was okay.

"She's sleeping, but if you really want to see her, I can take you. Just don't wake her." Cragen and Elliot nodded.

The two men followed the doctor to Olivia's room. "Thank you, doctor." Cragen said, nodding at the doctor.

"Don't mention it. If you need anything else, just ask for Dr. Heider at the nurse's station."

Cragen watched as Dr. Heider jogged down the hallway, presumably being called to do another surgery. He looked back over at Elliot, who had a tight grip on the doorknob, clearly unsure as to whether or not he wanted to see Olivia in a hospital bed. Cragen gently patted his shoulder. "Go in, Elliot."

Elliot sighed and opened the door, softly closing it behind him. He looked up at Olivia's sleeping form and froze where he was. She was white. Ghostly white, even. But that wasn't why Elliot froze. He froze because even though she was ghostly white and unconscious, he still found her absolutely gorgeous.

Elliot picked up a chair and placed it next to her bed. He sat down and gently gripped her delicate hand in his rough ones, marveling in its softness. "Liv," he whispered to no one in particular.

He brought her hand to his lips, softly kissing it. He leaned his head down on the side of the bed and finally let himself cry. He cried for the pain he had caused Olivia by not being by her side when she got shot. He cried for the boys who would get hurt because he let the perps get away. He cried for their families. He cried for in turn making Casey cry. But most of all, he cried for taking Olivia for granted. "I love you so much, Olivia." He whispered into the thin mattress.

Elliot cried himself to sleep at Olivia's bedside.

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"What do you got?" Fin asked as he and Munch approached Warner.

"It's got to be your guys. Raped with a knife, beaten with a blunt object, and then shot." Warner told them grimly as she indicated to the 8 year-old boy's injuries. Munch and Fin nodded.

"I, uh, heard what happened to Olivia. Is she okay?" She probed.

"Cragen called a few minutes ago, said she made it through surgery, was stable, but they're keeping her there to see 'if any damage was done'." Munch told her.

"How's Elliot handling this?"

"Not well." Fin simply stated.

"I figured." Warner responded as Munch's phone began to ring.

"Munch."

"When she wakes up, stop by and tell her I said hi." She told Fin. He smiled lightly and nodded.

"Will do."

"Fin, we got to go." Munch stated as he pocketed his phone.

"What's wrong?"

"Someone spotted our guys' black F-150 just outside the city."

"How sure are they?"

"Their description fits both perps, they spotted a little boy with them, and they gave full plate number."

"Let's go. Thanks, Warner."

"No problem, and guys?"

Munch and Fin turned to face her.

"Catch these sons of bitches, will ya?"


	3. Chapter 3: I Think I Love Her

**A/N:** Just so it's clear, in my story, Elliot's not getting back together with Kathy. :)

This chapter is for **obsessedwithstabler**, **Color Esperanza**, **SVUfan1006**, **MHFever**, **PaceyW'sgirl**, **EnglishJumperChick13**, **Pandora of Ithilien**, **onetreefan**, **AtheleticCharmedOne**, **Kates1789**, **SVU is my life**, **sayit**, **spacemonkey1129**, **Elliotlvu**, and **Hkitty9013** for the great reviews.

**Disclaimer:** Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow. If Elliot's not banging Olivia right now, I don't own this show. ;)**  
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**Chapter 3: I Think I Love Her**

Cragen slowly entered Olivia's room, greatly pitying the man that had fallen asleep at her side. He quietly walked over to Elliot, placing his hand on his shoulder and shaking it a few times in attempt to wake him. Elliot jerked up from the thin hospital mattress.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Calm down. Nothing's wrong, the doctors just need you out of here for a minute so they can run some tests on her." Elliot nodded wearily.

Elliot stood, giving Olivia's hand a gentle squeeze, silently wishing she would squeeze back, before letting go and exiting the room with Cragen just as Dr. Heider and two nurses entered. Plopping himself down on a chair, Elliot sighed and kept his eyes focused on the window that separated him from Olivia.

"Cap?"

"Hm?"

"I think I love her." Cragen turned to look at the detective.

"I know." Elliot finally took his gaze off of the window to look at Cragen.

"You do?"

"Don't look so surprised. I've known for a long time. I'm pretty sure Casey, John, and Fin know, too. Hell, it's not like you two were inconspicuous about it. A blind man could've seen that you two are in love."

The two were silent for a while.

"If she's okay after this, I mean, if she's able to come back to work, I need you," Elliot licked his lips, unsure as to whether or not this was what was best.

"I need you to reassign us. Partner me up with John or Fin. I can't…I can't be her partner after this." Cragen only nodded.

"I had a feeling you'd ask me that. We'll discuss it later."

Elliot nodded and leaned his head back against the wall. He and Cragen sat silently watching as the doctors and nurses worked around Olivia, somewhat nervously.

"Something's not right." Elliot whispered. The two men stood as Dr. Heider exited the room.

"Captain, does Detective Benson have any family we can contact?"

Cragen shared a glance with Elliot before answering. "No, the squad is her family."

"Can I speak to you then?" Dr. Heider asked Cragen.

Elliot took a step forward. "You heard what he said. We're all her family. Whatever you can say in front of him, you can say in front of me." He stated frustratedly.

Dr. Heider looked over at Cragen, looking for approval. Cragen nodded and sighed. "Just tell us, doctor."

"When your guy shot Detective Benson, the three bullets were lodged deep between two of the bones in her spine. As I told you before, we successfully removed the bullets, but due to the positioning and location of the bullets when they entered," Dr. Heider paused and looked at Elliot dead in the eye.

"Detective Benson has lost all motion in her legs. She'll have to be confined to a wheelchair." Dr. Heider solemnly told them. Both Elliot and Cragen's jaws dropped slightly.

"Is there any chance that she'll regain the motion?" Cragen asked.

Dr. Heider sighed. "It's highly unlikely, but there always is a slight chance that someone in Detective Benson's position can regain some of the motion."

An uncomfortable silence lingered between the three men for a moment.

"She's awake now if you want to see her." And with that, he walked away.

At that moment in time, Elliot felt as though his world was crashing down around him. His partner, his best friend, the woman he was in love with wouldn't be able to walk again because of him and his inability to protect her.

"Elliot, are you coming?" Cragen asked him, concern etched across his deeply-creased brow.

Elliot blinked and looked up at Cragen. He took a few steps back and turned, jogging out of the waiting room, into the New York night, his face stinging with the cool air. He leaned over the curb and emptied the meager contents of his stomach, feeling tears stream down his face as he did so.

He stood hunched over crying for a few minutes before he felt a gentle hand on his back. "Elliot?" _Kathy._

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and rid his face of the tears before turning around to face his ex-wife. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"The last time I checked, I worked here, Elliot." She smiled at him softly. Her smile quickly faded when she noticed Elliot's uneasiness.

"I heard Olivia was shot." Her face showed a sense of concern Elliot truly didn't know she had for Olivia.

"Yeah, she was." He said, his voice almost cracking.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"She, she might not be able to walk again." He whispered.

"Oh, Elliot, I'm so sorry. Have you seen her yet?"

"No, I-I can't. She, she was shot because I couldn't get to her fast enough." Elliot wasn't really sure why he was telling this to Kathy. But at that moment, he was so afraid, so horrified, that he couldn't hold back what he had to say.

"Elliot, I'm sure you did everything by the book. You both are great cops, things just happen."

"How am I supposed to face her? How am I supposed to look my best friend in the eye and tell her she can't ever walk again? She's my partner, Kath. She's all I have anymore. I…" He paused, not sure as to whether he wanted to admit to his ex-wife that he was in love with another woman.

"You love her." Elliot nodded.

"Elliot, look at me. Look at me." She told him. "What happened to Olivia is not your fault, Elliot. The only person who's responsible for this is the guy who shot her. If you love her, and believe me, I know you do, you'll stop beating yourself up for this, go see her, and then go out and find the bastard who did this to her."

Elliot nodded and closed his eyes, letting more tears escape his already red eyes. Kathy pulled him into a hug. They stood hugging for a few moments before Elliot pulled back and smiled at his ex-wife softly.

"Thanks, Kath."

"No problem." Elliot took a breath and walked back into the hospital waiting room, making his way over to Olivia's room. As he was about to open her door, Cragen stepped out and put a hand on Elliot's chest.

"Elliot, you don't need to go in there." Elliot's eyes widened and he took a look over Cragen's shoulder and saw that Olivia was flat lining and several nurses were pumping drugs into her.

"What happened? What happened to her?" Elliot asked, trying to push past Cragen.

"I don't know, Elliot. I went in there and she just started crashing."

"I need to go in there." Elliot stated as he watched two nurses prepare the crash cart and yell to "charge to two hundred".

"Elliot, sit down!" Cragen told him, while trying to hold him back.

"Charge to three hundred!" Elliot heard a nurse yell behind Cragen. He finally forced himself to look at Olivia and found that her body jerking upward with the electrical jolts that were coursing through her body was the most frightening thing he'd ever seen and he took a step backward into one of the chairs that faced Olivia's room.

A steady beeping was heard from Olivia's room and after a few minutes, the nurses left.

Cragen's phone rang and he stepped aside, leaving Elliot staring into Olivia's room, yet again praying for her.

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**A/N:** Just a little false alarm there to wake you guys up so I can remind you to keep those great reviews coming. Oh, and sorry about the lack of Munch and Fin in this chapter, they'll be coming up next chapter. :) 


	4. Chapter 4: My Husband?

**A/N: **Hey guys, first of all I want to apologize if any of you got an e-mail earlier today saying I updated this. I had updated this before school, but then I realized I had added two chapters in one, and I realized that as much as I love you all, I couldn't give you so much. Anywho, I didn't have the time to edit it, so I had to delete it. Sorry, again.

Also, I want to thank **onetreefan, sayit, Hkitty9013, obsessedwithstabler, SVUfan1006, ElnLivRment2b, SVU is my life, Bensonrocks, Color Esperanza, PaceyW'sgirl, spacemonkey1129, Kates1789, Elliotlvu, Duda Stabler Snape, Neela149, **and **EnglishJumperChick13** for reviewing chapter 3.

Lastly, I've decided that I need a beta. So anyone interested in being my beta for this story and for future stories, leave it in a review or p.m. me. Thanks, guys. :)

**Disclaimer:** There once was a lady who lived in a shoe, her name was Olivia and Elliot was her boo. (Sadly, that's only in my world. I own nothing.)

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**Chapter 4: My Husband?**

"You know you're going to be locked up for a long time, don't you?" Munch informed Lloyd Thompson, who sat in front of him grinning smugly.

"I don't mind. I got my kicks."

John had often felt the urge to kick a perp's ass many a time before, but his desire to kick Thompson's ass was so intense, it sickened him.

The one thing he was glad for, though, was that they were able to save the little boy before the two bastards did anything to him.

Munch squinted behind his glasses and was about to question him as to why he did it once again, when Lloyd asked a question of his own.

"So how's Detective Benson?"

The same smug grin that he had worn when he was being arrested had yet to disappear from his face.

John stood up from his chair and leaned against the table. "You think this is funny? You think going to jail for the rest of your life is funny? In all the years I've worked as a cop, I've never seen anything scummier than you, you son of a bitch!"

Munch was prepared to continue on his rant when Fin entered and pulled him away.

"Casey says she's got plenty to convict him, just throw him back in the holding cell, and don't do anything you'll regret." Fin whispered.

"Believe me, even I was planning on doing anything to this dirtbag, I wouldn't regret it." Munch said, loud enough for Thompson to hear.

He walked back over to the still-smiling man and roughly pulled him up from his chair. "Let's go."

Fin walked back over to Casey, who was on the other side of the glass.

"One down, one to go." He grimly stated.

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Olivia sat in her hospital bed, aimlessly flipping through the television channels. She exasperatedly turned off the television and leaned her head back on the pillows, sighing. 

She had seen Cragen briefly, before falling asleep. When she awoke again, one of the nurses had informed her that she had started to crash and her husband had looked very worried.

At that point, Olivia had looked at the nurse like she was crazy.

"_My husband?"_ she had asked.

"_The dark-haired, blue-eyed man who's here with the older, bald gentleman, isn't he your husband?"_

It had finally registered that the nurse had been talking about Elliot and Olivia had smiled.

"_No, he's my partner."_

"_Oh, I'm so sorry."_ The nurse had said.

"_Don't be."_ Olivia had whispered, smiling to herself.

Olivia ran a hand through her hair and tried pushing herself up in the bed with her legs, but noticed that she didn't move. She questioningly looked at her legs and tried again to push herself up.

_I'm probably still sedated from the surgery_, she thought. Somewhere deep down Olivia knew something much worse was wrong. She decided to ignore it and leaned her head back against the pillows once again, closing her eyes. She heard the door open, but chose to keep her eyes closed.

She heard someone pull up a chair next to her bed and begin to sob quietly. She couldn't tell who it was until that person grasped her hand.

She could immediately tell by the calloused fingers and the softness of the grasp that it was Elliot. He buried his head into her side and she could feel the tears seep through the blanket and onto her hospital gown.

"I'm sorry, Liv, I'm so sorry." She opened her eyes and watched curiously as he apologized, for what, she did not know.

She lifted the hand he wasn't holding and began to stroke his closely-cropped hair. He immediately sat up, took his hand out of hers and wiped his eyes.

"I, uh, I thought you were asleep." Olivia chuckled a little at his uneasiness.

"Does my unconscious form provide better conversation?" She joked.

He smiled a little.

"Definitely not. But she doesn't rant as much about the environment and nag me about recycling as much."

Silence surrounded them for a few moments before he finally spoke up.

"How're you feeling?" She saw that genuine concern was etched onto his features.

"I'm still kind of sore, but I'm tired more than anything."

"Oh, maybe you should get some rest." Elliot began to stand when he felt Olivia's hand on his arm.

"No, don't go." He nodded, smiled softly, and sat back down.

Olivia quickly pulled her hand away from his arm and tried to conceal her nervousness. She had never been nervous around Elliot, but something was different.

Something had shifted inside her when she had been shot. She had been lying there, bleeding on the ground, when she began to realize the people that were important to her. Cragen, John, Fin, Melinda, Casey, Elliot.

That had been the moment that she admitted to herself that she loved Elliot. She always knew she felt something more than a best friend and partner should feel about another, but she had never admitted it out loud or even to herself.

Elliot's voice tore her out of her thoughts. "Liv, I'm sorry."

She looked over at him questioningly. "For what?"

When Elliot didn't answer and simply stared at the ground, Olivia knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Elliot, what happened to me isn't your fault." She grabbed his hand.

"Jesus, El, even I know that. No one's blaming you."

"You wouldn't have been shot if-"

"I wouldn't have been shot if Stiles hadn't pulled the trigger. It's his fault that I'm here, Elliot, not yours."

Elliot looked up at her and opened his mouth to protest when Olivia spoke again.

"Shut up, Elliot. For once, just shut up and let me talk. What happened to me has nothing, and I mean _nothing_, to do with you, Elliot. You're my partner and my best friend, but this is something that you can't blame yourself for. We did everything we were supposed to do, things just happen sometimes. That's life, El. It is not your fault."

"But it's my fault, Liv. It's my fault you might not walk again. If I had stuck with you-"

"What?"

"It's my fault."

"No, not that."

"It's my fault you might not walk again."

Olivia's jaw dropped and she sat frozen, suddenly finding her bed sheets incredibly fascinating.

"The doctor didn't tell you?" Elliot asked incredulously.

She shook her head. "I, I couldn't move my legs, but I just thought they were still sedated from the surgery."

"Olivia, I'm so sorry."

Olivia bit her lip, refusing to let herself cry and turned toward Elliot. "It's still not your fault, El."

Elliot saw her chin begin to quiver and he stood up and sat on the edge of her bed.

"It's not your fault." She repeated as tears began to spill over her eyelids.

He pulled Olivia's shaking form toward him and held her as she cried, all the while she was still whispering that it wasn't his fault.


	5. Chapter 5: Start Talking

**A/N:** I'm sorry this took a long time to update. There's been some really horrible personal stuff going on. I'm also sorry this might be shorter than usual.

As always, this chapter is dedicated to my reviewers, but this chapter is especially dedicated to Jose Diaz, Jr. You will be missed terribly. R.I.P...

**Disclaimer:** Law & Order: SVU and related characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. This story was not made for profit.

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**Chapter 5: Start Talking**

"Daniel Grimm, Brandon Bridges, Kenneth Thomas, Ricardo Martinez, Bryan Phillips, Richard Aventura, Ronnie Thomas, and Pablo Sanchez." Fin stated bitterly as he threw a picture of each boy he had just named on the table in front of Stiles.

"Recognize these kids?" Fin glared.

Stiles shook his head. "Never seen 'em before."

"You're lying. You kidnapped, raped, and killed these boys."

"I told you, I don't know who these kids are." Stiles started to shift uncomfortably in his chair.

"So who's the ringleader here?" Munch glared at Jacob Stiles.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He responded calmly.

Munch, however, did notice a flash of nervousness in Jacob's eyes and took that opportunity to pounce.

"Don't play games with me, you son of a bitch. Not only are you going to jail for raping and killing those boys, but you're going as an accessory to the assault of a police officer. So if you want any mercy, you better start talking."

Another look of uncertainty flashed in Stiles's eyes.

"We don't got all day, Jake. Either you start talkin' or we throw you in the holding cell with your buddy." Fin spat.

Stiles looked as though he was having an inner battle with himself before he finally spoke again.

"Okay, fine. I'll tell you everything." Stiles nervously fiddled with his hands.

"Listen, I've known Lloyd since we were in high school and he was never the type of guy to do anything like…like this. He got married a couple years back and had a kid- a girl. Then a couple months ago a boy at his kid's school started hitting his little girl, so Lloyd went to the school and he hit the kid."

The two detectives looked disgusted.

"So you're saying that he went to his daughter's school and smacked around some little boy?"

Stiles nodded. "He called me later and told me about it and how he got a rush when he did it. He told me to go with him and try it sometime, but I-I couldn't. I swear to God, I never touched any of those boys. I was the lookout for everything, I swear. He didn't even get me a real gun. My gun was fake." He started crying.

Both detectives and the assistant district attorney on the opposite side of the glass could tell that this man was telling the truth and that he felt remorse for not speaking up earlier.

Fin exited the room and walked over to Casey. "So what're you gonna do with him?"

Casey sighed. "I can probably plead down the accessory charge, and he wasn't the one who shot Liv, so I can probably get him off that charge completely."

Fin nodded. "What about Thompson?"

"Oh, that son of a bitch is going down." Casey said definitively.

* * *

Elliot re-entered Olivia's room. 

"Here." He said, handing her a cup of water. She took a few sips then placed the cup on the table beside her.

"Thanks." she said quietly.

Elliot pulled up a chair beside her bed once again and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she ran a hand through her hair and sighed.

"No…I-I don't know. I just," she sighed again. "It's just hard to believe, you know?"

Elliot nodded. He slid his hand down from her shoulder and grasped her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Olivia looked up and smiled warmly. "Thanks, El."

It was his turn to be confused. "For what?"

"For being here." Elliot smiled and gave her hand another squeeze.

A knock on the door made the pair turn.

"Hey, Liv." Cragen stepped in the room.

"Hey."

"How're you feeling?" He asked, standing at the foot of her bed.

"Like I've just been shot." She half-heartedly joked.

Elliot and Cragen exchanged a glance before Cragen spoke again.

"Listen, we've got the guys in custody. Munch just called and told me that he got Stiles to tell him everything. Turns out he was the lookout and the gun he had was a toy gun."

"So I got shot because I was pointing my gun at a guy with a toy gun?" She asked incredulously.

"No, you got shot because that bastard pulled the trigger." Elliot said, yet again giving her hand another squeeze.

Olivia looked at Elliot, sighed quietly, and looked back up at Cragen. "There's more, isn't there?"

Cragen nodded uncomfortably. "Casey just needs to know if you want to press charges against Thompson."

She could feel Elliot's calloused fingers stroking the back of her hand reassuringly. She sat there debating whether or not she wanted to press charges for a few moments before looking down at her legs and remembering she had no motion in them.

Olivia nodded determinedly.

"Yeah, I want to press charges."


	6. Chapter 6: Now or Never

**A/N:** Wow, guys. I'm really sorry that this took forever to update. I'm not going to make excuses, I honestly forgot about this story until just a few days ago. I had this pre-written, but I decided to re-write it just for the sake of re-writing it. I hope you guys haven't forgotten about this story, too. And excuse this chapter if it's not up to par. I'm still suffering from a slap across the head my brother gave me when I yelled "YOU SHOULD BE WITH OLIVIA!" at my television last night during the Stabler family time scene. Anyway, please review. :)

**Dedication:** This chapter is dedicated to all my faithful reviewers who haven't forgotten about this story- you guys are awesome- and to my boyfriend just to spite him because he thinks I'm obsessed with television. x)

**Disclaimer:** I'm too pissed at the fact that Dick Wolf made Mariska cut her hair to come up with anything clever to disclaim this story with...

**

* * *

Chapter 6: Now or Never**

Elliot sat at Olivia's bedside. He had been watching her sleep for the past hour or so. The hospital chair wasn't doing him any good, but he didn't mind, as long as he could be by her side in case she needed anything.

It wasn't long before Elliot felt his eyes drooping and it was becoming harder and harder for him to stay awake. Checking his watch, he saw that it was almost midnight, meaning he hadn't slept in over 36 hours. Finally, he gave in to his exhaustion and fell asleep.

"_Move!" Elliot pushed aside a civilian, his ears pounding with all the commotion surrounding him._

" _Olivia! Oh my God, no! No!" He kneeled in front of her, gently lifting her body as she clutched her neck and reached out to me. _

"_It's okay. I'm okay, I'm okay. Where's Gitano?" Elliot wasn't really thinking about that. All he was thinking was that Olivia was lying on the ground with a gash in her neck, her blood seeping through her fingers._

_Her voice brought him out of his trance-like state._

"_Go, Elliot, go! I'm fine. Go!"_

_He slowly backed away from her, still wondering if he was doing the right thing and ran up the escalator to find Ryan dead in a pool of his own blood._

Elliot woke with a start. He leaned forward and rubbed his tired eyes with his hand. Checking his watch he saw that he had been asleep for only 15 minutes.

He had the Gitano nightmare any time he and Olivia got into a fight or whenever they had a tough case and he was worried for her. But this time, he figured, he had the nightmare because he had almost lost her then, and he had almost lost her this time.

Leaning his head back against the wall, Elliot sighed.

Even though he hated that a little boy died because of him, he knew that in any situation even relatively similar to that of the Gitano one, he'd choose Olivia again in a heartbeat.

From the moment they met, Elliot had connected with Olivia. They had fallen into a comfortable routine and he always admired her independency and her strength.

He never wanted to admit that he cared for her more than he should. That was the reason he went to save her and not Ryan that day.

Elliot shut his eyes and let the tears that had wanted to come out for so long stream down his face. He was too tired to even fight them. He didn't even wipe them away until he heard her voice.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

He opened his eyes and saw that she was staring at him with genuine concern in her eyes. He licked his lips and sent her a weak smile.

"Nothing. I'm-I'm fine, Liv."

"You're a horrible liar, you know that?"

They both smiled slightly.

They sat in silence before she spoke again. "I already told you it's not your fault, El."

He looked at her and nodded. "I-I know. It's not that."

"What's wrong then?"

He looked down at his feet then spoke before he could think twice. "You're the one who might not walk again and you're asking _me_ what's wrong."

He looked up, realizing what he had said. "Shit- that's not what I-"

"It's fine." She told him with a small smile.

Still, he didn't miss the glimpse of hurt that flashed through her eyes.

Elliot sighed heavily and grasped her hand. "Liv, there's something I got to tell you."

She nodded.

_It's now or never, Stabler._

"Liv…I-I'm-"

"Knock, knock."

_Shit._

Elliot released Olivia's hand and they both turned to see Dr. Heider and a nurse enter her room.

"How are you feeling, Olivia?"

She shrugged. "I got some rest, so I'm not as tired. But my back is still a little sore."

He pulled a pen out from one of the pockets in his lab coat. "Tell me if you feel anything."

Elliot watched as Dr. Heider gently tapped the pen on her knee. He turned to face Olivia, who was shaking her head.

"How about now?" He moved the pen lower and tapped her shin.

Olivia bit her lip and shook her head again.

"Now?" Once again, he moved the pen lower and tapped her foot.

For the third time, Olivia shook her head.

Dr. Heider nodded and pocketed the pen. "Now that you're stable enough, we're going to move you downstairs to one of the recovery rooms." Olivia nodded.

"What we're going to try to do for your legs is start you in physical therapy as soon as possible and try to see if we can regain some of the motion you lost."

"Is there any chance that I'll regain all of the motion?"

Dr. Heider looked down as if he was trying to collect his thoughts before looking back up at her.

"The chance of you regaining all of the motion you lost, if there is any, is very slim."

Olivia stared down and nodded.

Trying to relieve some of the tension in the room, Dr. Heider spoke up.

"Okay, so if you're ready, we'll take you downstairs now. Oh, and Detective Stabler," Elliot faced him. "I'm sorry, but visiting hours were over two hours ago, and even though your captain has been paying me to let you stay for the past two hours, I think you have to go now." With a small smile, Dr. Heider left the room and the nurse began preparing to move Olivia downstairs.

"Hey," Elliot whispered. Olivia looked up into his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere."

She shook her head. "No, Elliot. Go home. I'll be fine."

"You sure?" He asked skeptically.

She nodded. "Yeah, and besides," she said, scrunching up her face, "you need a shower."

He smiled at her. "Funny, Liv." He squeezed her hand gently.

"I'll be back in the morning. I promise." She nodded, a delicate smile gracing her face.

He stood back as the nurse began to wheel her out of the room.

Just before Olivia was completely out of the room, he heard her call out.

"El," he walked into the hallway and spotted her. "Be careful."

He nodded and waved at her as the elevator doors closed, wondering if Dr. Heider's interruption was a sign that he shouldn't tell Olivia what he felt for her.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Elliot turned to walk out and nearly missed colliding with Cragen.

"You going home?" The older man asked.

Elliot nodded.

"Good, you need the rest. I'll have the hospital call you if anything changes." Elliot nodded again as Cragen started to walk away.

"Hey Cap," The older man turned to face his detective. "Thanks."

Cragen smiled and nodded curtly.

Getting into his car, Elliot decided that he would stop at the precinct to pick up some stuff from his locker.

As he walked into the precinct, he saw Munch coming out.

"Hey John."

"Hey, how's Liv?"

Sighing, Elliot responded. "She's got no motion in her legs."

Munch's jaw dropped slightly. "How's she holding up?"

"She's Liv, what do you think?"

They stood silently, before Elliot spoke again.

"I heard you got Stiles to confess." Munch nodded, solemnly.

"Yeah, Fin just sent them up to central booking."

Elliot nodded. "Goodnight, John."

"Night, Elliot."

Entering the crib, he laid down on one of the cots. He shut his eyes and started to replay the events of the day in his head; from the moment he got to work, where he had noticed Olivia's snug long-sleeved shirt, to their lunch break where the two had playfully argued over who was going to pay- which Elliot had ended up doing- to their car ride to the warehouse where she had asked if he was okay after she had caught him staring at her at a red light, to the moment when his heart stopped and he found out that she might not walk again, to the moment not even an hour ago when he had almost professed his love for her.

He decided that he didn't want to go home. What was the point? It wasn't like anything other than an empty fridge and a hard mattress was waiting for him.

He knew Cragen would have a fit when he found out he had slept in the cribs, but at least here he felt comfortable, at least he felt safe. And even for a second he could believe that everything was going to be okay.

That Olivia was going to be okay.

This was home to him and other than at Olivia's bedside at the hospital, he didn't want to be anywhere else at that moment.


End file.
